My Last Day

Friday, February 26th: my last day in Paris for awhile. It was nice today, sunny and spring-like. It's been warmer the past few days, and I know I'm going home to snow and 28 degrees Fahrenheit. But it's still home.

My cold has gotten worse today, and all of a sudden I realized I'm tired. My legs are tired (I've done so much walking), and I'm tired of living in a one-room apartment and I'm tired of wearing the same clothes all the time and I'm tired of being alone at night and alone when I wake up in the morning. I'm ready to go home.

I had a good last day with my granddaughter. I brought sandwiches for lunch today, and Matt came home from work to have lunch with us. In the afternoon Jeanne had made an appointment to get a massage; her mother had given her a package of massages for her pregnancy, and she hadn't used them all. So we set off to do some shopping, and then I was planning to stroll Juliet around while her mother got a massage. This was not what Juliet had planned! Actually, I think she may have gotten cold, and then upset. Sometimes when she gets upset you just can't get her calmed down. Today was one of those days.

Five minutes into Jeanne's massage Juliet was crying and nothing I could do would appease her. We strolled around for another twenty minutes, but she was only getting more upset. So I took her back to the massage parlor, thinking I could get a bottle from Jeanne there. Of course, Jeanne heard her crying and came right out. By this time Juliet was really mad, so it took Jeanne a while to calm her down. And that was the end of the massage.

I came back to my apartment to meet the owner and get the deposit check back, then went back to Levallois to go out to dinner for our last evening. We had a great dinner at Mandalay, an Asian-fusion place. Juliet enjoyed herself there, too, and received lots of admiring looks from the other customers. I got to hold her quite a bit (see above picture) so I was a happy grandma.

I said goodbye to Jeanne and Juliet; in some ways it was harder to leave Jeanne than Juliet because we've become quite close over the four weeks. But we'll see them this summer. Matthew is driving me to the airport in the morning, so it's time to get to bed. Tomorrow will be a long day.

Four Weeks

Juliet with her daddy


Tom reminded me tonight that four weeks ago today I got on the plane to come to Paris. Four weeks! In some ways it seems like I've been here a long time, and in other ways it seems too short. I haven't gone to...I haven't done...I didn't buy any...We never ate at...

But it's definitely time to go home. I woke up with a cold today, and then my umbrella died. You can live with a cold, but you can't live without an umbrella in Paris. I think I'll buy a beautiful new one to take home with me. Because as much as I love my granddaughter, I miss my husband. It's time to go home and be with him.

Tonight I got the most beautiful gift ever! Jeanne's sister, Marie, composed a book of photos of Juliet and her extended family, and she had it printed by a company called mypix.com. It's like a photographic history of my month with Juliet. The photos were taken by Marie's husband, Stephane, and they're wonderful. He has a real eye, and Marie has a great artistic gift of putting the photos together. It will be a treasured keepsake.

Matt and Jeanne are planning a trip to Tunisia the week after next. I innocently inquired a few days ago, "Will Juliet need a passport?" Turns out, she does. So Jeanne and I spent the afternoon getting Juliet's photo made, buying the special passport stamps at the Tabac, then going to the Mairie (Town Hall) to get the emergency passport. That is good for one month, then she'll get her real passport after that, in plenty of time to come to the U.S. for Thanksgiving. For now, Juliet is all set for her first trip outside the country! She'll be eight and a half weeks old when she goes to Tunisia; she's getting a good start on travel. Knowing her grandparents and her parents, she'll probably travel a lot!

For me, travel is one of life's great pleasures. Going home again is another great pleasure, and I'm getting myself ready.

Tuesday and Wednesday

Not one, but two, new items appeared in Juliet's repertoire Tuesday. First, she slept from 10:00 last night until 5:30 this morning!! An all-time record and a good portent of things to come. And second, she seems to have finally found her thumb. She has been attempting to put her entire fist into her mouth; today she put her thumb into her mouth and left the other fingers outside. Unfortunately, her thumb was so far into her mouth that she gagged herself, and spit up a little bit. But we still see the thumb as improvement, as she'll be able to comfort herself when she gets hungry or upset. Two giant leaps forward today!

It's our last day in Morlaix, and Jeanne wants to visit her good friend Emilie, who lives in Brest. Juliet and I are always up for a road trip (I like to look at the French countryside, and Juliet likes to sleep in the car), so after lunch we set off to visit Emilie and her little girl, Margot. Margot was born prematurely five months ago, so she's a little smaller than Juliet right now. Developmentally the doctors think she's doing very well, and so far they don't foresee any problems. What a miracle! She was just over a kilogram (2.2 pounds) when she was born.

It's fun to see the two little girls together. They do look at one another, but they don't seem to have any particular interest in the other little face. When laid side by side in a play area, they pay more attention to the mobiles overhead than each other. When one cries the other doesn't even seem to notice. Probably in a few months they'll have a lot more curiosity about each other. How fun it will be for Jeanne and Emilie, who have known each other since they were 12, to see their daughters grow up, get to know each other and maybe become friends.

After Emilie's we went shopping. Jeanne got a few nice things at H & M, and I bought some flowers for Jean and Marylise. After returning to Emilie's to pick up the bottles I had left by the kitchen sink (oops) we headed back to Morlaix for our last dinner with Jean. Marylise was on a late flight to Brest, maybe because of the airport employees' strike this week, so she didn't get home until 10:30. We said our goodbyes and I tried to thank them for their generous hospitality. They are truly like family and I feel so blessed--for myself, Tom and especially Matthew. Jean said he and Marylise might see us at Thanksgiving. What a good surprise--they are thinking of coming to the States with Matt and Jeanne in November!

Wednesday was a day for travel, one of those days where you just put your head down and do what needs to be done. We spent the morning getting ready to go, and left about 12:45, bringing our lunch with us. It was pouring rain, of course; the one day you really would like good weather. While we were in Morlaix, I practiced driving for about 10 minutes. That was a good thing, since every stick shift drives a little differently. Juliet was very good in the car, but she was worn out by the time we got back to Levallois. The last half hour on the Peripherique is horrible for anyone, let alone a hungry baby. But we made it back and had dinner with Matthew, and even found a parking space right in front of the apartment. Not a bad day's work.

Journeys

Just when I think I'm Miss Technology, along comes Reality and trips me up again! In Morlaix I couldn't hook up to the internet, so I wrote my blog in a Word file and then transferred it to another computer that was hooked up. Well, Matthew helped me do that. When he left on Monday night, somehow the ability to transfer that material left with him. Try as I might, I couldn't do it on my own. So following is some semblance of what I wrote on Monday night. It sounded a lot more eloquent then.

It's Monday, and it's raining. We must be in Morlaix! Actually, for Morlaix it's not raining that much, and it's not very windy; it's a great day to be inside and to catch up on some last-minute post cards, and write my to-do list for the rest of my trip. A to-do list which consists mainly of spending time with Juliet.

I've been a little teary-eyed today, thinking about leaving on Saturday, and how much I will miss seeing Juliet every day. But she, Matthew and Jeanne have their own lives, and so do I. Soon Jeanne will go back to work and Juliet will be in day care. I have been lonely for Tom, and missed my tennis and my gym, and I have a hundred things to do for the Democrats when I get home. So I'll be okay; I'll just look forward to my next visit, to see how much Juliet has grown and changed.

We went shopping for a few things for Juliet and her parents today: a bottle brush, a "Baby on Board" (bebe a bord) sign for the car, baby food containers, and a new sleeping gown. I bought a Winnie the Pooh mobile for her bed; Matthew, Tom and I used to love reading the Pooh books. After shopping Jeanne took Matt to the train. He will get home about midnight, but at least he was able to spend almost the whole day with us. The train is really so convenient.

I've been thinking about journeys today, with Matt leaving and my own journey next Saturday. Life is really a series of journeys. There are everyday journeys: going to work, going on vacation, going to a wedding, going to a funeral. Then there are the more difficult journeys: leaving your parents' home for the last time, moving from a familiar place to a new one, sending a child off to college. There are life-changing journeys: marriage, divorce, having a child, losing a parent. And when a grandchild is born, we discover that some of the very best journeys are saved for the last part of our lives.

Sunday in Primel

Sunday—a little sad, as it’s my last Sunday in France for awhile. Vincent arrived in the morning, to join his family. Jean went out hunting with his dog, and the rest of the family went to Primel to eat crepes at Le Gouter Breton. It’s a small creperie restaurant about a block from the family’s house. We had lots of fun at lunch, and many photos were taken of darling, dramatic Romane, Juliet in various people’s arms, and Vincent and Lukaz and their chocolate mustaches.

After lunch we took a long walk on the beach, and I couldn’t help but think that this is why the French stay slim—they walk, and walk and walk. It was a perfect day to be at the beach. It was warm (for February) with not much wind. As we walked and talked I thought again about how Jeanne’s family has made me feel at home here.

Back at the beach house, we received our Sunday visitors: Herve and Martine and their daughter Charlotte, and Vincent’s best friend Tony. Herve is pictured above, with Juliet and Jeanne. We had coffee, tea and conversation. On the way back to Morlaix we stopped at two antique shops. Matt told me that the furniture sold there would be five or ten times as much in a Parisian antique shop. He and Jeanne have often talked about the possibility of opening a store in Paris, and bringing in antiques from Brittany. I didn’t do any buying, but it was fun to look!

Back in Morlaix we spent a nice evening together, with dinner, kids playing, adults talking, watching the Olympics and all the normal family activities. (I love being in Morlaix with the family, but there are entirely too many people here who want to hold Juliet. That is supposed to be my job!) But I guess being part of a family means one has to give in, be flexible, share and forgive. The rewards outweigh the sacrifices.

We Are Family

Friday morning I exchanged a defective sweater at H & M. It was a rather proud moment when the cashier told me I spoke French well, and walking back to the apartment I felt like I belonged in the neighborhood. Understanding French is becoming a lot easier, because I’m trying to relax and just go with the flow of the language, rather than trying to pick out individual words.

Back at the apartment I packed for five days in Morlaix, and checked everything twice to make sure the garbage was taken out, the heat turned off, and that I had packed everything I needed. When Tom and I travel together, we ask each other, “Did you bring the camera? Do you have our passports? Did you turn the heat down?” Traveling alone is more difficult; you have no one else to ask. It tends to make you a lot more cautious.

I arrived at the kids’ apartment around 1:00 and fo$r the rest of the afternoon we scurried around getting ready to go. There’s a lot to pack when you have a baby! We finally got on the road about 5:00, picked Matt up at work and headed into the Friday night traffic on the Peripherique. We hadn’t realized it was the first evening of the two week February break, and every single Parisian family was leaving town, including us. The trip to Morlaix normally takes about six hours by car; it took us about eight and a half, with stops to feed Juliet and bathroom breaks. We arrived in Morlaix at 1:30 in the morning, and went straight to bed. Juliet’s first long car trip, and she fared better than her parents and grandma.

Saturday I slept in late, and we went to the marche, the market, about noon. This is one of the French traditions I love most: going to the market to get the freshest of vegetables and meats to cook for your dinner. The vegetable sellers display their wares so beautifully. Everything looks appetizing. I would always buy more than I needed! While we were at the market we bought crepes for our lunch. Matt and Jeanne ate theirs while we were walking around; I ate mine back at the house. The afternoon passed quickly; Laetitia and Lukaz and Romane arrived mid-afternoon, and Danny and Caroline arrived at 6:30.

We had a lovely family dinner, beginning with foie gras, progressing through curried pork tenderloin, potatoes and sautéed carrots, leeks, onions and turnips, bread and cheese, salad, cake for Lukaz’ birthday (earlier this month) and tarte de pomme, apple tart, made by Laetitia. It was nice to have Danny and Caroline for dinner; it’s good to stay connected with the extended family. Tom called during dinner. He sounded wistful to be missing another beautiful family dinner, and said he looked forward to such a good time this Christmas, when we’ll visit again. Each time we leave France, we look forward to the next visit with our genial French family hosts!

An Ordinary, Extraordinary Day

Not much happened today, so I guess it's my chance to wax philosophical. Not that I'm ever shy about spouting my "philosophy". It's a Pollyanna-ish view of the world, and it's gone clear off the charts with this tiny, beautiful prodigy of a granddaughter.

Tom left for home early this morning. I know he woke me up to say goodbye; I hope I said something appropriate in return. I did think about him during the day today, and I know he landed safely at O'Hare. Traveling mercies.

In the early afternoon I went to Levallois to be with Jeanne and Juliet. We didn't do anything special, just our usual feeding, changing, a stroller ride to get something for dinner, then more feeding and changing, oh and a bath (that's always a highlight of the day), then more feeding, then dinner for the adults and then Grandma headed back to her own apartment, to get ready for our trip to Morlaix tomorrow.

Now here's the waxing part: How is it possible that such a tiny being has so totally captured my heart? When I came into Juliet's line of vision this afternoon, she smiled at me. She recognized me. Maybe it's just because I sometimes give her a bottle, but still, she smiled at me! My heart leapt!

When she does something new, like when she recently started holding onto her bottle, well then I just want to tell everyone I know. It's probably a good thing I don't live here; my friends would be bored to death, hearing about what Juliet is doing now. Or maybe that's what grandmas do, and when I go back to Elkhart my friends and I will have lengthy discussions of the wonderful things our grandchildren are doing.

I love to hold her and really look at her. When she's sleeping I study the little blue veins just under the surface of her skin. I look at her ears, her little rosebud mouth, her hands with dimples where the fingers meet the hand, her perfect little nails. I watch her as she sleeps; she makes such funny faces! Sometimes she whacks herself in the face with her hand. Her nostrils go in and out, in and out, and her mouth makes little sucking motions.

When she's awake and really calm I love to watch her eyes (blue, at least for now). They search your face like they're trying to memorize it. If she's calm she might try to talk to you, too. She makes sounds, and she makes the effort to make a sound even if nothing comes out. You watch her screw up her mouth, stick out her tongue and make the biggest effort, and when nothing comes out she seems frustrated. Of course, sometimes that can mean she is just filling her pants and will soon need a diaper change. (Usually her face is very red when this is happening.)

And sometimes she cries, and before she actually starts to cry, her face distorts and she gets the most woebegone look. Your heart just breaks for her. Other times she pouts, sticking out that lower lip and crying real tears. You would do anything to make her happy, but she will have none of it! And she has a "mad" cry. Boy, oh boy, is she mad and you are going to hear about it! Whatever it was that you did, don't do it again!

I'm fascinated with her, I'm in love with her, I adore her and I delight in her. I'm a grandma and I never realized what that would mean. My friends warned me, and they were right: it's the best thing ever. With a grandchild, every day is an ordinary, extraordinary day.

Act Like a Tourist Day

We did two of the most touristy things you can do in Paris today: we went to the Eiffel Tower and the Louvre. Both were wonderful. We met Jean, and Marie and Stephane's kids, Thomas and Lena, at the Eiffel Tower about 12:30. The kids have Wednesday off from school; I'm not sure if they have every Wednesday off, or just this one. At any rate, we were excited to spend the afternoon with Thomas, 10, and Lena, almost 8; they are very nice children.

It was a rainy, foggy day today, but we had the tickets for the Tower, so we went anyway. The crowds were probably less because of the weather, so that was good. We could still see some Paris landmarks from the second floor, but once we got to the top it was like pea soup fog. You couldn't see much at all. It's still fun to go to the top, though! We chatted while we were waiting for the various elevators to take us up or down.

We had lunch in the restaurant on the first "floor" of the Tower. The food was pretty good, but of course the view is what you pay for. During lunch, Tom played a game with Thomas and Lena; he would ask them a simple question in English, and they had to answer in English. Then they could ask him a simple question in French and he would answer in French. We had some good laughs...the kids are shy about their English and we're somewhat shy about our French, even with an 8 and 10-year-old!

Lena is such a character, so dramatic! She entertained us on the Metro to the Louvre. She wouldn't hold on to the pole, and when the train would start up or come to a stop she would pretend she was falling and make these wild faces. She is so like her mother, funny and charming and intense! Thomas is quieter and more serious, and such a sweet boy. He reminds me of his father. We had lots of fun with both of them.

The Louvre was great, too. It is just indescribable; after today, we decided that it doesn't really matter what you choose to see. Everything is world-class and it's all interesting. We started today with objets d'art from Napoleon III. I was thinking, "Man, this is bound to be boring." Of course, it wasn't. It was mind-boggling; first of all, he lived right there in what is now the museum, so the series of rooms with these gigantic chandeliers and velvet wallpaper and period furniture is right in front of you. The dining room table seated about 40 people; you don't see that every day. We went on to Flemish and then French painting; again, an unsurpassed collection. They say you could visit the Louvre every day for a year, and not see everything. You surely would have fun trying, though.

We said goodbye to Jean and the kids and headed out to Levallois for dinner with Matt, Jeanne and Juliet. Our little Juliet has learned something new; she is grabbing her bottle now, with both hands. Every day, something new...Dinner was brief tonight, as Matt and Jeanne were tired, and Tom needed to get back to our apartment to pack and get a good night's sleep before his flight home tomorrow.

It seemed really mild as we walked from the Metro to the apartment tonight. We were both thinking about spring, and summer, and coming back to Paris to see Juliet. When we see her next she will have changed so much. We are already talking about our next visit, and how soon that can possibly be; not soon enough.

La Famille

Tom and I headed over to Levallois early this morning, as Jeanne had an appointment and we got to take care of Juliet! We took her to a cafe where we had tea and coffee, and she had a bottle of formula. The picture on this page was taken by the man we think was probably the owner of the cafe. When Juliet got a little fussy after her bottle, we strolled her on the street until Jeanne came. It was another beautiful, sunny day, and even though it's still very cold, it seemed warmer with the sun.

We met Jean for lunch, then the five of us went to the Rodin Museum for an exhibit about Matisse and Rodin. (Juliet is getting to be quite the art critic; she liked the Matisse paintings but didn't care too much about any of the sculptures...) I didn't know Matisse was a sculptor in addition to drawing and painting. The exhibit was interesting but extremely crowded. We couldn't wait to get outside and stroll around the grounds looking at Rodin's beautiful sculptures. The late afternoon sun was still warm. We walked quite a ways to return a baby gift, but got some darling clothes for our trouble. Then we headed back to get ready for the family dinner.

The Paris part of the family got together for dinner: Stephane and Marie and kids, cousin Caroline, Stephane's mother and Jeanne's parents all joined us, and we had a wonderful evening. I find I am more able to understand the conversation, and Marie, Stephane and Caroline all speak English so Tom is included more, also. We feel like we're part of this wonderful family! It was the day after Thomas' 10th birthday, so we sang to him, and he got his big present, a Mac laptop. He was thrilled; he has really grown up over the past few years. He looks like a young man now, not a little boy. And Lena, 8, is adorable and sweet, too. I hope Juliet doesn't grow up so quickly!

Tomorrow we will have more family time, as we're going with Jean, Thomas and Lena to the Eiffel Tower for a special tour. Then perhaps on to the Louvre if we have the energy. A demain! (Until tomorrow...)

Monday, Monday

Tom and I had planned to go to the Louvre this morning, but the sun was shining so we set off to see the Sainte Chappelle, with its magnificent stained glass windows. On a sunny day the interior of the chapel is ablaze with colored light from the windows; you would swear you can hear a heavenly chorus. When we arrived a gendarme was putting up a sign that said the Chapel was closed today, and the only chorus you could hear was the disappointed voices of the crowd in line. It's not far from our apartment, so we can see it another day.

We set off to do a little sight-seeing and shopping in a tonier part of town. Neither of us had ever visited the Palais Royal, which was Cardinal Richelieu's home before it became the childhood home of Louis XIV. You can't go inside the buildings, which today house the Ministry of Culture and the Council of State (supreme legal body for administrative matters). But the garden is lovely, even in winter, and there's a neat courtyard with rows of stone columns of varying heights, added in the 1980's. We'll come back in the summer when we can stroll through the gardens in warmer weather.

Nearby is the Rue Saint Honore, one of Paris' most exclusive shopping streets. We looked in the windows of Baby Dior, but decided we'd just as soon not spend $120 on a sun hat, or $150 for a teddy bear. So we headed back towards our apartment, where the shops are more reasonable, quirky and interesting. We found a cute onesie for Juliet, some olive oil for Matt and Jeanne, vinegar, onion confit and tea for us, chocolate for the nurses at the hospital, and generally had a lot of fun shopping, window and otherwise. We had lunch and then walked it off, before heading to Matt and Jeanne's.

The evening was uneventful; Matthew worked late so we had to eat without him. Tom and Jeanne tried to outdo each other by finding the best music videos on YouTube, so we had non-stop music for three hours; Juliet and I did a lot of "baby-dancing". Jeanne made us a wonderful dinner of quiche, salad, bread and cheese and bakery desserts. We are always well-fed!

Jeanne's father, Jean, is coming into town tomorrow and we will have a family dinner. We made plans to see him during the day tomorrow, for lunch and an exhibition at the Rodin Museum. The days fly along and I am flying right along, too; I am so happy and grateful to have this time with my son, belle fille and granddaughter. Today another picture of Tom and Juliet; he is so cute with her! He is absolutely smitten.

Our Valentine, Juliet

We spent the Sunday together, in typical French family fashion. At noon we met for brunch at Hotel Amour, a trendy hotel in Montmartre. They serve a self-styled "American" breakfast, with a definite French flavor. We sat on the charming glassed-in patio, on the first sunny day we've had in a long while. After brunch we walked the nearby streets; this area is of course famous for sex shops and, at one time, houses of prostitution, but is now becoming gentrified and newly hip. There are lots of unique shops and restaurants; and the streets are all very steep as they climb up to Sacre Coeur, the beautiful white church on a hill overlooking Paris. So it's a good workout after you've had your American brunch!

We didn't get back to Matt and Jeanne's apartment until 4:00, at which time some had to be fed while others needed naps. A very relaxing Sunday afternoon followed; soup was made, laundry was started, books were read and the Olympics viewed on the computer, which doubles as a TV for Matt and Jeanne. And we had tea and coffee and cakes, to tide us over until dinner.

Grandpa Tom got to change Juliet all by himself and he did a great job. The stress of helping with the bath was too much for him, however, and he let me handle that, as usual. Juliet loves being in the bath, but she absolutely hates getting in and coming out. She screams bloody murder both times! Oh, but after the bath she smells so sweet, and she has her jammies on and even though it tends to be her fussy time, we love to hold her and walk with her and sing to her. When she's super-fussy, I sing her the "walking around the apartment song" which seems to calm her down. It has a lot of verses about the coat rack and what's hanging there, and the book shelves and what kinds of books Mommy and Daddy have, and the kitchen with all the plates and cups and food and appliances. Or maybe it's the walking around the apartment that calms her down...

All in all a lovely day, with our darling Juliet as the centerpiece and spending time with her parents the wonderful bonus. Matthew will have to work hard again this week as his project is due Friday, so we may not see too much of him. But he and his Dad had a great chance to spend time together yesterday and today. A happy Valentine's Day for all.

Napoleon and Me

Visiting the Hotel des Invalides, final resting place of Napoleon, was high on Tom's priority list for Paris. Semi-reluctantly, I agreed it would be a good way to spend a Saturday morning. Boy, was I wrong. It was a great experience! Seeing Napoleon's crypt in the absolutely gorgeous Dome Church was a little anticlimactic, but touring the Musee de l'Armee was superb. This huge museum covers military history from the Stone Age to World War II; it is fascinating.

The museum has a large collection of armor, mainly French but from other countries as well. Many of the suits of armor belonged to French kings, so they were decorated ornately. There were even tiny suits of armor for the princes; apparently they had to "practice" wearing armor before they went into battle when they were older.

The most fascinating part of the museum was a history of the World Wars, and what led up to each war. Several floors of the museum were dedicated to this history, and it was so well done, with lots of uniforms, weapons, recordings, films, personal papers and human interest stories. Most of the displays were translated into English; I don't think I've ever learned as much in any other museum. We spent almost four hours there, about double the time we usually spend in a museum.

Of course we had to break for lunch midway through the World Wars; we needed to sit down and rest, plus we were famished. There's a nice, if expensive, cafe right in the museum so we ate there. We were next in line to pay for our meals, right behind an old French gentleman leaning on an empty wheelchair. I was looking at the cashier and saw her start to giggle. I looked at the old man, glanced down and saw that his pants were down around his ankles! He didn't even realize it. The poor cashier was having a hard time keeping a straight face, but she gently told the old man and Tom and I looked away as if we were oblivious, while he pulled up his trousers. I seem to attract these men, and I don't know why...

We didn't get to the kids' apartment until 4:00, and they were ready to take Juliet out for her daily stroll. Tom went along, but I was too tired so I stayed at the apartment. Later we went to dinner at La Trattoria, an Italian restaurant only a few blocks away. We wanted to stay close because it's probably not good for Juliet to be out too long in the cold. It has been so stubbornly cold the entire time Tom has been here; about like it is at home in Indiana, but we expect Paris to be much milder, sometimes even in the 50's in February.

Normally Tom and I walk, walk, walk everywhere; this trip, we've been taking the Metro some place and going inside. It's just too cold to be outdoors. That's OK with us; we are enjoying being grandparents. Just feeding, changing and playing with Juliet is enough fun for us. We really didn't have enough time with her today; we'll have to rectify that tomorrow!

TGIF

Thank goodness it's Friday! I say this for Matthew; while Jeanne, Juliet, Tom and I have no concept of what day it is, Matthew has been working long, stressful hours on a project that's due at the end of next week. We're all hopeful that he won't have to go in to work this weekend, and we can enjoy some family time together, as well as give him a much-deserved rest. He is exhausted, and Jeanne is exhausted from dealing with a new baby, and Juliet is probably exhausted because she's growing and changing every day. One exhausted family!!

To give them a little time alone, Tom and I went out to dinner at a wonderful bistro, Cafe des Musees (Cafe of the Museums). Recommended by Matt and Jeanne, it has a lovely relaxed atmosphere, funky wall decorations (dead tree branches with Christmas lights, silverware and small glass jars hanging from them--sounds bizarre, is bizarre, but also eye-catching and light-catching), a very friendly wait staff and great food. We had mushrooms stuffed with escargots and a terrine to start, then Tom had a steak and frites, and I had Parmentier style pintade, which is some kind of bird (quail? pigeon? I have no idea) under a mashed potato crust under a phyllo crust, baked in the oven. The darling waitress who explained it to me said I would love it, it's "very French".

Also very French was the bathroom; there were two doors, one marked for women and one for men. There was a small entry area with a sink, forced air hand dryer and a urinal. While I was washing my hands, a man came in and used the urinal. Now the urinal was just opposite the sink, and next to the dryer. Well, I decided if it didn't bother him, it didn't bother me, so I just dried my hands while looking straight at the wall. We French, pah! We are not in the habit of noticing other people's naked body parts!

The weekend promises to be lots of fun as we will get to spend some time with Matthew, Jeanne and Juliet as a family. The French authorities don't like the bastardization of their language , but as we say here in France, "Bon Weekend!"

A Day of Firsts

Little Juliet had quite a day today; her Mom and grandparents decided she was ready for some culture, so off we four went to the Grand Palais for an installation by French artist Christian Boltanski. The Grand Palais is a beautiful Art Nouveau building with an immense glass roof. Boltanski's installation, entitled "Personnes", which means both "people" and "nobodies", consisted of a grouping of 69 rectangles of coats spread on the ground, from which arose 69 heartbeats. Walking among the rectangles one could hear different heartbeats and it was very emotional. There was also a huge pile of clothing with a crane that would pick up some of the clothes and then drop them. It was dramatically different from walking by a piece of art in a museum. You were actually walking through the art experience. The artist described it as an "exploration of life, memory and the irreducible individuality of each and every human existence, together with the presence of death and the dehumanization of the body". The adults were impressed, but Juliet slept through the whole thing.

It was so cold outside that we decided to go to Angelina for afternoon tea. Everyone else outside in that area decided the same thing, but it didn't take too long to get a table and order our tea and cakes. Juliet was hungry, too, and Jeanne was able to feed her right at our table. The French people have a healthy attitude toward breast feeding: it's normal, it's healthy, so go ahead and do it. We won't be shocked and we won't stare at you.

The tea warmed us up and we set off to do some shopping at Galeries Lafayette, one of Paris' best department stores. Tom set off on his own while Jeanne, Juliet and I went immediately to the 5th floor to check out the baby department. There must have been 20 baby couture areas, from Baby Dior to Bon Point to Petit Bateau to Baby Kenzo, and on and on and on. I picked up a darling cashmere sweater, size 3 months, at Bon Point. A bargain at 110 Euros, or about $165. It wasn't really Juliet's color, so I didn't buy it.

After all the shopping and tea-drinking and walking and installation-going, we were exhausted and took a cab back to Levallois, where Jeanne, Juliet and Tom all took naps before dinner. What a day of firsts for our little Parisian baby: her first ride on the Metro, her first artistic installation, her first tea at Angelina, her first shopping trip to Galeries Lafayette and her first cab ride! Quite enough for today; we will have more adventures tomorrow. Sweet dreams, Queen Juliet!

Ma Belle Fille

Tom met his granddaughter today, and it was love at first sight! It was great to hear someone else expound on how beautiful Juliet is, how well she holds her head up, how her eyes are tracking movement already, etc., etc., etc. I thought I was thinking those things because I was her Grandma, but it turns out they're true! Her Grandpa thinks so, too.

It snowed in Paris again today, and snow is forecast for three of the next four days. This is extremely unusual for Paris, where they normally get snow maybe once a season. Climate change, anyone? At any rate, Juliet must have her daily outing, so off we went to downtown Levallois, to shop for a few things for dinner. Juliet in her stroller with her hat, her scarf, the stroller cover and her blanket, is nothing but two eyes, a nose and a mouth. Sometimes even the mouth gets covered up. She usually sleeps for the entire trip, but we think the fresh air does her good.

Jeanne takes Juliet out even when we're not there to help, and I don't know how she does it alone. There's just so much stuff! And some of it is heavy and/or unwieldy. She's a very determined Mom, and a very good one. My heart swells with love for both Jeanne and Juliet when I see them together. Jeanne is so competent and loving with our granddaughter. Like all new moms, she has times when she doesn't know why Juliet is crying or fussy. But she never seems anxious or frustrated with the baby. She always speaks to her in a soothing voice, or she will sing to her, and Juliet usually calms down immediately when she's in her mother's arms.

I never had a daughter of my own, so when Matt married Jeanne I was thrilled to finally have someone with whom I could shop and talk girl talk. We've spent a lot of time together because she and Matt dated for four years or so before they were married, and they've been married for five years this summer. I really thought I knew her quite well. An unexpected blessing of this trip has been getting to know my daughter-in-law even better; taking turns holding a crying baby, fixing a cup of tea for one another, talking about babies and all the mysteries that surround them, these things are bringing us closer. And we share the bond of motherhood; I suppose that's part of it. When I see the way Jeanne looks at her daughter, when I see how she talks to her, caresses her, sings to her, calms her down, laughs at her and plays with her, I feel so lucky that she is my son's wife and my granddaughter's mother. Ma belle fille. My beautiful daughter.

My Routine

Tom is due to arrive in Paris tomorrow morning, despite a heavy snowstorm in Chicago that we thought might sabotage his travel plans. I am so excited to have him here, and I know he is excited to finally meet and hold his granddaughter.

There's just one thing: I have developed a daily routine, and I'm quite set in my ways. I sleep until 9 or 10, have a shower and leisurely breakfast, then explore the neighborhood or go to a museum or shop. In the afternoon I go to Matt and Jeanne's apartment to help with Juliet. Our afternoons are pretty quiet, involving naps, feedings, diaper changes and stroller rides. Sometimes if we are adventurous we get in the car and go shopping in Paris. In the early evening we may go out to buy something for dinner, cook dinner and eat, and then about 10:30 I head for home on the Metro. Once back in the apartment, I fix tea, answer my email and write on my blog. Then I read until I go to sleep, usually about 2 or 2:30.

Starting tomorrow there are going to be two bodies in this small space. Did I mention that my apartment is a studio? It's one room and a bathroom. There's no place to hide. My only hope is to keep Tom on Indiana time. At home he normally gets up about 4 or 5 A.M., which is 10 or 11 A.M. here. So maybe we can work out the hours part of it. The rest of the routine will probably change, and that's OK. I'm looking forward to getting out and seeing more of the city, and with three grownups to one baby, we should be able to take Jeanne and Juliet with us. Maybe we can even take the Metro, with one adult holding Juliet, one in charge of the stroller, and one carrying the diaper/wipes/change of clothing/bottles and formula/blanket bag. Gee, this is starting to sound like fun.

I really don't like being so regimented. I'm afraid of it, actually, because I know that as we age, we tend to become less willing to take chances and to try new things. I want to always be open to new possibilities, because after all, I have a granddaughter and I must set a good example.

1970 and 2010

Tom reminded me that exactly 40 years ago, in 1970, I left the U.S. and DePauw University to study abroad for a year. I was supposed to go to the University of Madrid in Spain for a semester, then to Dijon, France for a semester. But at the end of the first semester I was really getting into Spanish and my classes at the university. I also had a great roommate, Julia, and I wanted to spend more time with her. So I stayed in Madrid and bypassed the chance to improve my French. That was the right decision for me at the time. Had I known I would have a son, and he would marry a French woman...

So here I am, 40 years later, off on my own again. This time I'm not here to study the language, although I try to learn some new phrase or words every day. This time I'm studying one small face, unintelligible grunts and squeaks (What does that mean? Is she hungry? Is she sleepy? Do we need to change her diaper?), two tiny hands with adorable dimples at the base of the fingers, skinny legs and skinny feet, blue eyes (at least for now), reddish brown hair that her mother swears is getting lighter, and the most beautiful smile in the whole world.

I plan to keep on studying this particular subject for the rest of my life. Juliet is American as well as French, and I know Jeanne and Matthew will make sure she knows both sides of her family. Jeanne's family has always made Tom and me feel so much at home in France, and our lives have been enriched by interacting with our "French family". When Tom retires we will spend more time in France to be near our granddaughter, son and daughter-in-law. (I love the French words for daughter-in-law: belle fille , or beautiful daughter.)

When I think back to the twenty-year-old student I was in 1970, it's hard to imagine what that young woman thought her life would be like. If she imagined herself in France in 2010, it was probably as the translator for the French President! Instead, I'm here as "Grandma". And I've never been happier. Life is amazing. I guess the trick is to want what you get.

She's Changing Every Day

Juliet is changing every day, and we're not talking diapers here! I believe (I hope) I have successfully put a picture of Juliet on the blog tonight. So I am apparently changing every day, too. Maybe you can teach an old dog new tricks...I've already learned a lot about computer technology this trip, because I've had to figure it out on my own.

We had a great, semi-lazy Sunday today. We did what families do in France on Sunday; they spend time together, and that includes three and sometimes four generations. Three generations in our case, as Juliet, Jeanne, Matthew and I went to the marche (market) this morning. The market stalls are set up in a large building; I'm not sure what it's used for the rest of the week. But on Sunday, Tuesday and probably one other day of the week, vendors sell their fruit, vegetables, meat, seafood, flowers and cheeses. There are beautiful displays of food: fresh-caught fish, artisan cheeses, artful mounds of fresh vegetables and fruits. No wonder the French people eat so healthy. Jeanne bought a beautiful big sea bass for dinner on Monday, and I got some of Tom's favorite cheese, as he's arriving in Paris on Wednesday!

The rest of the day was spent reading, napping, diaper-changing, cooking and eating. Juliet got to see her grandfather on Skype, a good preview to his visit later this week. She's really started to notice faces and to follow movement with her eyes. I can't wait to see what new things she and I will learn tomorrow.

Grandma

Well, it has happened. I am calling myself "Grandma". As in, "Would you like Grandma to change your diaper, Juliet?" and "Can Grandma hold her?" Yikes! I used to cringe when my own mother would say things like that. Even a few months ago I wanted to be a grandmother, but didn't really want anyone calling me Grandma; it just sounds so old. And now here I am, proudly announcing to the world that yes, I am this child's grandmother. I think all the fear of being thought old goes out the window when you see the child of your child.

I was young and naive when I had Matthew; of course I thought he was the most beautiful baby in the world, but I was also busy being a new mother, over-tired and just trying to get through each day. I was blissfully ignorant of what I should have been doing, and just did what I felt was right. Sometimes it was, sometimes it wasn't. Today's new parents seem to be overwhelmed with warnings about everything, and I wonder if their kids will be safer, or just more neurotic. When Matthew was a child, pregnant moms smoked and drank, cars didn't have seat belts, no one used bike helmets, and we let our kids drink out of the garden hose and slide down the stairs in a cardboard box. It's a miracle any of our kids made it!

It just seems there are more things to worry about today; perhaps that's the reason I'm a little more cautious with Juliet than I was with my own child. Matthew and Jeanne tell me how to do everything for Juliet; how to feed her, change her diaper, bathe her and hold her. And I'm grateful for that; I want to do everything just right. She is so precious. This afternoon she was a little fussy, and I found that when I positioned her to be more upright, on my shoulder, she settled down. Then she fell asleep that way: her soft little cheek against my cheek, her tiny, tiny hand on my neck, the quiet little "hunh, hunh, hunh" of her breathing, and even though my arms started aching from holding her that way, I stayed as still as I could for as long as I could. My granddaughter was asleep in my arms, and I could close my eyes and imagine the day when she would call me Grandma.

We Shop Til We Drop

"Bon Anniversaire a Juliet! Today she is one month old! We celebrated by taking her to the pediatrician for her one-month checkup, which she (of course) passed with flying colors. I wasn't actually in the room, but I'm assuming the doctor said she was not only beautiful and intelligent, but also perfect in every way. The other infants and children were screaming their heads off, but I didn't hear a peep from our Juliet. Next month she gets shots, but thankfully Grandma won't be here for that.

After the doctor's appointment we had precious little time to get back to the apartment and load up in the car to go across Paris to Jeanne's hair salon. We couldn't figure out how to get the new stroller folded up, and after wasting a lot of time and energy, we just chucked the bottom part in the trunk, and stowed the car seat in the front passenger seat. We arrived at the salon 15 minutes late, and by this time Juliet had been asleep for an hour.

What fun for me at the salon, as all the customers and stylists wanted to tell me how cute she was, and ask all the easy questions like boy or girl, name, and age. I'm pretty good with the easy answers, and smiling gets you a long way in any country. One of the stylists asked Jeanne if she was French. When Jeanne said "yes" the stylist asked if the father was British, and Jeanne said, "American". Right away the woman came back with, "Oh, that's a great combination!" To which Jeanne agreed...and I was secretly amused that this young woman had obviously given this some consideration.

After the salon we three girls went shopping. My daughter-in-law is famous for shopping under normal circumstances, but given that she hasn't really been able to do any serious shopping for the last month, I should have been forewarned. We shopped for the next three hours. And in Paris that means lots of walking, the main reason Parisian women are so thin. I was ready to call it quits long before Jeanne, but Juliet was sleeping so peacefully, and Jeanne was so animated and happy, that I didn't have the heart. So we shopped, and we shopped, and we shopped. And Grandma was the only one that dropped.

We got back to the apartment at 7:30. At this point Juliet had been asleep, with brief periods of wakefulness, for six and a half hours! It seems that like many newborns, she has her days and nights mixed up. Jeanne asked me what she could do to get Juliet turned around, and I didn't have an answer for her. It's been 35 years since I had that problem myself...

It's been cold and rainy most of the week, but today was an absolutely gorgeous day, the kind that fools you into thinking that spring is just around the corner. The high was only around 15 degrees C., and since I don't remember how to translate C. into F., it seemed really warm and it may have been really warm! By the time we got into the car to come home, it was dark. Jeanne drove along the Seine, and you could see the Bateaux Mouches (boats that cruise the Seine and point out the landmarks along the way) all lit up, as well as the historic buildings on either side. And late tonight as I walked from the Metro to my apartment, I saw groups of young people at tables in the cafes, and lovers strolling hand in hand on the boulevards, and I thought to myself, "I must remember to say in my blog, how much I love this city!" I feel at home here, and when I'm not here, just thinking of Paris makes me smile.

The Metro

Paris is such a great walking city. Like Chicago, it's made up of neighborhoods, each with their own distinct character and feel. I am living in an area called "Les Halles", described by Emile Zola as "the belly of Paris". Doesn't sound too attractive, but Zola was referring to the meat, vegetable and fruit markets in this area since 1183. In the 1960's congestion forced the market outside the city, but the area is still known as Les Halles. There are lots of shops, bars and restaurants here; it's a vibrant area. Also home to the Pompidou Centre, which looks like a building turned inside out since it has air ducts, heating ducts, escalators and even steel beams that are the skeleton of the building, on the outside. Inside is the Musee National d'Art Moderne.

I walked around the area this morning, since Juliet's godmother was visiting at their apartment, and I had the morning "off". It's a pretty cool feeling to imagine that you're getting to know "your" part of town. I'm looking forward to Tom's visit next week, so we can explore together. I know the guidebooks say this area is kind of seedy, and will be renovated over the next four years, but I like it. And it's certainly central enough to be handy to other parts of Paris.

I've been thinking about the Metro today. I tried a new way to Matt and Jeanne's apartment today, via Chatelet metro station. It is just huge. I felt like I walked four blocks underground just getting to the proper metro line. I was trying it out because when I'm coming back to my apartment late at night, I would only have to walk two blocks from Chatelet, whereas from Reamur-Sebastopol it's about a 15 minute walk. And even though I feel safe, it is dark and I am a woman alone. I'm very careful; I put my nose in the air and throw my shoulders back and try to look as though I could kill you with a glance if you tried to pull something funny.

A couple of other thoughts about the Metro: (1) If you are someone with a cough or a sneeze, don't think about sitting next to me because I am a grandmother now and I don't want to expose my granddaughter to any illnesses, so I won't even bat an eyelash and will just move right away from you; (2) Who draws all the graffiti between the Metro stations? There are just miles and miles of tracks, to say nothing of a limited time in which to actually work since the Metro's only closed for a few hours at night, yet the entire area between stations is covered with graffiti. I'm a little bit in awe of someone who would put that much effort into something that doesn't pay and in fact could get you in a lot of trouble.

Juliet has a big day tomorrow; a visit to the pediatrician in the morning (one month checkup), and Jeanne has a hair appointment in the afternoon. I guess the hair will take several hours, so Grandma and Juliet have to go along, as there will be breast feeding at some point. Stay tuned and we'll let you know how it all turns out.

Shopping

We decided to go shopping today; Jeanne really needed a lighter-weight, more city-friendly stroller, and my Mom had petitioned me to find and buy something the kids needed. Tom and I hadn't gotten them a "big" present yet, either. So off we went.

We got as far as the car, where we were confronted with a car seat whose straps were configured so short that they were too tight for our very tiny baby girl. Car seats are something to be reckoned with; marvels of engineering, but not easy to figure out. A half hour later, Jeanne was able to lengthen the straps, and we were on our way!

Parking in Paris is always a challenge. Five times around the (several) blocks and still no parking space in sight, we decided to do what several others had done. We parked across the street from the store in a no-parking zone, and left our blinkers on. This worked well.

Once in the store we found the stroller we were looking for right away. Things were looking up! After ordering the stroller, we were looking around the store to see what else we might need. A familiar odor was wafting up from Juliet; she needed to be changed, and luckily the store also sold changing tables. Jeanne was changing Juliet and broke her own cardinal rule: never leave the area in question uncovered. I've never seen anything like it; Juliet shot a large mustard-colored wad of guess what clear across the changing table onto her mother's scarf, which was luckily covering the front of mother's coat. For a tiny body, both her power and her aim were impressive! Jeanne and I had a good laugh. We had been thinking about trying to go out for lunch, but we opted for the apartment and a change of clothes for mother and daughter instead.

We spent the afternoon unpacking the new stroller and car seat, washing the fabric covers and reading about how to put it all together. It's going to be perfect for them. As I was holding Juliet after giving her a bottle, I was already wondering how I can ever leave her at the end of the month. So I'm just going to savor each day and be grateful. Life is good.

New Baby, New Grandma

After I finished explaining everything I've learned over the last 24 hours, Tom said, "Well, you're just like your granddaughter; you're just learning new things all the time!" Yikes, it's really true! I went from living in my parents' house, to college, to living with my husband. I've always been quite content to let Tom take care of the travel details, knowing the Metro stops, figuring out the monetary system, plus anything electronic--forget it! Why would I need to know which charger goes with the phone, the camera, the computer?

All that has changed. I have learned how to open a very stubborn French door (the one to my apartment); I have figured out which street exit to take on my Metro stops; I have memorized two door codes to get into my apartment building; last night I put several cords together and recharged the battery on the computer; I'm learning how to use my new phone; I hooked myself up to wireless; and most important of all, I am setting aside fear and "just going for it". This should be an interesting month.

Jeanne and I took Juliet to be weighed today. Good news: she is gaining weight appropriately. She now weighs 3.5 kilograms. And I don't want to be one of those annoying grandmas (maybe we all are...) but I think she is also "learning" new things each day. She seems to be focusing her eyes much more than she did when I was first here. She has a little mobile over her changing table, with four little animals, Mr. Bear, Mr. Elephant, Mr. Penguin and Mr. We Can't Quite Identify What Animal He Is. Maybe a piglet or a dog. Anyway, Juliet actually smiles at these animals when we change her diapers. At first I thought it was just gas, but I have watched the last five or six changes, and she is definitely smiling at them. What wonderful new things will Juliet and I learn tomorrow?

Boy, What a Day I Had Today!

What a day! I got settled into my new apartment in Paris and managed to make it there (and back, at midnight) by myself. I did a good job today, with a few minor setbacks...I took a taxi to the apartment and got inside OK. Once inside, it was dark in the hallway and I couldn't really see how to get into the elevator. So I thought, "How bad could it be carrying two heavy suitcases up four flights of stairs?" I did actually make it to the fourth floor. Of course I couldn't breathe when I got there. I'm sure my landlady thought I was just plain nuts!

A studio apartment is a lot smaller than it looks in photos. For example, the kitchen is just a closet, with folding doors in front of it so you don't know it's there. Or at least you don't know when dirty dishes are in the sink.

Actually the bathroom is nice sized, the bed looks good, and there is Wi-Fi and television, so it will be just fine for me during the brief times I'm here. If I'm not with my granddaughter, I'll be out exploring the city.

On my way back to the kids' apartment this afternoon, I "ran into" Jeanne and Juliet, out for a shopping trip. What fun to join them and play Grandma on the street. Tomorrow we will go to the morning market, then take Juliet to be weighed in the afternoon. I can already tell that this month will go quickly...