Our Last Day

Today was our last day with the grandchildren for a while; always a bittersweet time.  In one way it seems I've been away from home for a very long time, and in another way it feels like my time here has been too short.  It's always that way!  Tonight I overheard Juliet telling her Daddy, "But I don't want Grandma and Grandpa to leave; I want them to stay!"  And holding James tonight I felt a tightening in my heart, because the next time I hold him he will be an entirely different little person.

Our last day was a cold, rainy, drizzly day.  The weather here is turning toward winter, as it already has at home.  We took the metro to the Georges Pompidou Center to see a Lichtenstein exhibit, but the line to get in was about a block long, and with the baby, the rain, the umbrellas, the diaper bag and the cold, we decided to go to early lunch instead.  Some times we're geniuses!  When we arrived at Bob's Kitchen there was a table that looked like it had been reserved for us.  (We're talking here about a vegetarian restaurant with four tables, each holding 6 to 8 people.)  Famous for their veggie and fruit drinks and delectable desserts, we ordered soup, veggie stew, a nori wrap and a bagel sandwich plus some juice (and later, dessert).  Delicious lunch, and though Tom and I were by far the oldest people in the restaurant, there was a sense of comaraderie with the other wet, frozen diners in out of the cold.  Bob's is a very friendly, low-key place.  It was our first time there but we were made to feel like regulars.

Back at the apartment everyone took extended naps; why do naps feel so great on cold, rainy days?  We were all content to sleep, play with the kids and make and eat dinner to finish out our last day.  Showers and baths in the evening, packing for Tom and me, bedtime stories, checking in with the airlines, early to bed except for James who is perhaps catching a cold, Juliet who wasn't tired because she had a long nap, and Grandma who also had a long nap and is excited about/dreading leaving tomorrow.  At least tonight we talked about when I could come back in February or March to help out, when Juliet has vacation or when Matthew has heavy responsibilities at work.  Planning the next visit helps take the sting out of leaving this time.

Goodbye, my sweet darlings!  You will stay in my thoughts and in my heart until I see you again.

Halloween

Just to clarify, the Bois de Boulogne is the second largest park in Paris, about two and a half times the size of Central Park in New York City.  The Bois de Vincennes is slightly larger.  Thank you, Wikipedia.

Today was Halloween in France, but you hardly saw any sign of it.  Tonight as we left the apartment we saw a few young girls dressed up on our street, but where they were headed was anyone's guess.  The holiday is not widely recognized in France, so it's difficult to know if they are going to trick or treat or if they're going to parties for the occasion.  Coming home on the metro tonight we saw quite a few young people (aged 18-25?) dressed up or made up to look scary.  Perhaps just out on the town in a festive mood.  Juliet seemed interested in the concept of Halloween since we had just read a story about Max and Ruby, and their Halloween.

Today was a quiet day; we had errands in town so we did those this morning.  The sun was shining although it was quite cold, in the mid-fifties.  Juliet led the way on her scooter; we went to the chocolate shop for gifts, the Monoprix for diapers, the Carrefour City for some mustard to take back to the States, and the deli for lunch items.  After lunch it was nap time for Juliet, and James and Jeanne had an appointment with the pediatrician.  The one-month checkup went smoothly; James is now at the 75th percentile for weight and length.  Or height, really, except of course he's not standing.

While Jeanne was gone I made the mistake of laying down which I should never do during the day because I always sleep too long.  When I woke up it was time to get ready to go to the Ministry for dinner with Jeanne's family.  Everyone was there except Vincent and Laetitia; they had to work.  But all Juliet and James' cousins were there, and what a sweet group.  They all really like one another, and are kind to one another, maybe partly because of their age differences.  Thomas must be about 15 by now and of course the youngest is James.  I got lots of good pictures of them together.  We see them infrequently but are always impressed with their manners and their treatment of each other.

We stayed quite late at dinner and both Juliet and James were exhausted by the time we left.  I hope they will sleep late tomorrow, as it's our last day and we hope to make it a good one!  Rain is predicted so we'll probably go to a museum and maybe out to lunch or tea.  I'm going to walk tomorrow even if it's raining, as Saturday will be spent folded up on the airplane, headed home.

Bois de Boulogne

Today we took the kids to the Bois de Boulogne, which I believe is the largest park in Paris and I believe was used by one or more French royals as a place to hunt and possibly for other activities.  I am not planning to confirm any of this because I'm rather old-school and there doesn't seem to be any travel guides for Paris in this apartment, which is rather sad, nor am I planning to minimize this blog page in order to look on Wikipedia or elsewhere to verify my claims.  Perhaps the reader would like to do so.

It was another lovely day today; the weather has been unusually nice for this time of year, ever since my arrival.  I can't claim any credit but I am grateful.  So we set off about 10:30 this morning for the park, a notorious place of debauchery at night but during the day frequented by joggers, walkers, families, old couples out for a stroll, people on horseback and lots of people with dogs, all of whom seem to be enjoying themselves.

James is riding in one of those harness things, strapped to Jeanne's chest.  Obviously he's very comfortable because he immediately falls asleep.  Tom and I are given walking advice by Juliet, who delights in choosing our route, finding things of interest in our path, urging us to run or to walk backwards or to avoid dog poop, and generally chattering away about the lake, the ducks, the sun, the weather, the acorns, the chestnuts, etc., etc., etc.  An hour passes most pleasantly.

We take a pontoon boat across the small lake to a restaurant where Jeanne has made reservations for lunch.  Matt is joining us there, and we see him waiting for the pontoon boat as we're walking on the small island.  We all wave our arms and shout to him but he doesn't hear us.  Tom encourages Juliet to "say Daddy real loud", and Juliet yells, "Daddy real loud"!  Tom and I can't stop laughing, and Matthew hears and sees us and waves.  Pretty soon he's on our side of the lake and we share a wonderful lunch.

The rest of the day is fairly uneventful as the kids have late naps, Jeanne goes out to do some shopping for the kids and for Tom, who wants to take gifts back for his hospital team, and I work on dinner and helping with the kids.  Squash stuffed with couscous, green salad, bread and cheese round out another great day.  We have only two days left to enjoy our Juliet and James, at least for a while.  I know it's time to leave and let Matt and Jeanne get back to "normal" with the new addition to their family, but I will miss being a part of their lives, helping them and watching James grow and change.  He's such a sweetie, and Juliet is starting to settle in to her new role as well.  I never thought I could love anyone as much as I love her, but now I love James in that same way.  Sometimes I feel like I could burst with how much I love them.

Zoo Day

Well, yes, technically every day is zoo day in a household with two little ones, but today we really did go to the zoo.  Tom, Juliet and I visited the menagerie at the Jardin des Plantes this morning.  Within the large Garden of Plants is a small zoo, just the perfect size for kids (of all ages).  You can walk around the entire area in about an hour and a half, including time for a short rest and a snack.  The menagerie doesn't have many of the typical zoo animals like bears, elephants and giraffes, but it has some unusual animals, several large buildings housing monkeys, big cats, frogs and lizards, and snakes (some huge snakes according to Juliet and Tom, as I did not venture into the snake house), and pleasant surroundings including park benches and picnic tables and plenty of toilettes.

We had taken Juliet to this very same zoo last December; then she was in a stroller and got tired much sooner.  Today she was ebullient, running and skipping to see the animals and even posing for pictures cheerfully.  She did try to ride on Tom's shoulders most of the time, but we talked her into walking on her own about half the time, so "poor old Grandpa" could rest!  Toward the end of the day when she got very tired she took off her little knit cap and put it on her Grandpa's head, then rested her cheek on his head and said "I'm sleeping."  She fell asleep in the taxi on the way home.

Tom described her as "joyous" today, and I can't think of a better description.  When she is in a good mood, she is enchanted and enchanting.  She studied the zoo map to see what animal we were going to see next.  A three-year-old, studying the map!  If the animals had a funny name, Juliet might yell,"Bonjour bouquetin!" and keep yelling until the bouquetin did something.  She picked up leaves and she picked up twigs, and she jumped over puddles and she wanted to walk through puddles but we insisted she couldn't get her shoes dirty.

She was a lot of fun; we had a great time.  Lunch at home with Maman was delicious, and followed by a long nap for Juliet, Grandpa and Grandma.  What will tomorrow bring?  

Movie Monday

Our first full day with Daddy at work and both Grandma and Grandpa helping out at home.  Jeanne decided we should celebrate with lunch out at La Cannelle, a neighborhood restaurant.  Really not even a "neighborhood" restaurant as it is located in the same block as the apartment and a number of other shops.  An excellent lunch; the proprietor and waitress are enamored of Juliet, the food is terrific, and we get to take turns holding James.  I'm glad Jeanne is able to get out of the apartment as that is so important for a new mom's mental health!

Juliet is able to squeeze in a nap between 2 and 3:30.  She is a little tearful setting off for the movies without her mom.  Even Grandpa is a little new for her, so she clutches Grandma's hand tightly as we leave the apartment complex.  However once she realizes that with both Grandma and Grandpa's hands she can swing like a monkey, she gets friendly again with Grandpa very quickly!  We wend our swinging way to the Metro and into Paris.

The movie is "Turbo", about a snail who dreams of racing, and the theater is near the Palais Guarnier at Opera.  The Palais is absolutely gorgeous and I remember how spectacular the interior is; I saw it after it had been renovated a few years ago.  The movie theater is quite nice inside also, with lovely plush red seats.  The ticket seller asks if Tom and I are seniors.  We say no since the sign says "65 and older"; she presses us again and I answer that we're 63.  Later when we check our ticket stub we discover she charged us the senior rate!  Guess we should be grateful and not wonder whether we look older than we are...

There are about a half dozen previews for kids' shows before the feature starts.  Juliet is rapt watching those previews.  When the film starts she pays close attention.  I notice that she reacts to the surround sound by turning her head toward the sound as it comes from the side of the theater.  Some parts of the movie are a bit scary for her; I can't remember at what age children are able to differentiate between reality and what's on a movie screen (or an Ipad these days).  The last half hour of the film Juliet asks several times "Is this the finish?"  and I tell her it's coming soon.  Overall she is very good and very patient.  We skip and jump and swing our way home again, and at the dinner table she announces, "I'm just going to play a little bit and then go right to bed!"  Three firsts today:  James is four weeks old, Juliet sees her first full-length movie in a theater, and Juliet readily admits she's tired and will go to bed without prodding!  What a day!!

Grandpa is Coming

The news this week is that Grandpa is arriving on Sunday.  How did Saturday get here so soon?  Tonight I said to Juliet, "Grandpa is coming tomorrow."  Juliet said, "Grandpa is coming tomorrow morning."  Then she high-fived me with both hands.  I guess we're both pretty excited.  Although I've hardly had time to miss Tom, I know he has been lonely.  It's hard to be the person left behind, still going to work and coming home to an empty house, eating dinner alone and missing all the action that is happening here in Paris with the grandchildren and Matt and Jeanne.

Tomorrow Matt will pick Tom up at the airport in the morning.  I hope it will be a nice day so we can all go to the park for a picnic and some play before nap time (nap time probably for both Juliet and Tom.)  Tom will be amazed by Juliet and how much more mature she is.  We spent ten days with her in July but her English vocabulary is so much larger and her overall sentence structure so much greater that it's surprising.  She is comfortable in English now, and tells stories that have lots of characters and lots of imagination, sometimes in English, sometimes in French and sometimes in Franglish.

I brought Juliet some books in English as well as a 48-piece floor puzzle.  She liked the books but I'm not sure she'll even want to have them read to her again; she is "into" chapter books now. Her parents are currently reading Peter Pan to her at night.  She has done the puzzle a few times, but each time it takes her less time to finish and I'm sure she'll grow tired of it soon.  For her birthday perhaps a 100-piece table puzzle is in order.  She is very patient and doesn't mind being challenged.  Maybe we'll even go birthday shopping while Grandpa and I are here this week.

The time changes tonight so we'll get an extra hour of sleep.  Even so, it's late and I am ready for bed.  Tomorrow is a big day!  Grandpa is coming!!

Blogging

I like to blog but it can be frustrating.  I feel that I should write something every day and maybe I don't have something to say every day.  But blogging is like journaling and if you don't do it every day you lose the thread of your "story".  With a three-week-old, let's face it, the story doesn't change that much day to day.  But it is amazing to me how each and every day I study James and I learn or see or wonder something new about him.  Today I'm just going to try a stream of consciousness for my thoughts about James the last 24 hours.

Blue eyes.  I wonder if they will stay blue?  He's starting to focus closer to his own face; he's looking into my eyes.  Juliet and I wonder what he is thinking about; we decide he is thinking about how much he loves to look at the overhead light fixture and we laugh, laugh, laugh!

I look at his fingers; they are miniature fingers with all of the lines at the joints and tiny, tiny, tiny nails that are part of the fingers somehow, they're not totally nails but they're not just skin either.  And Jeanne has to file the nails every other day because otherwise he scratches his face and Jeanne's breasts when he's nursing.  And now I am wondering about the toenails, which I will definitely check out the next time I change him.

His face is kind of fat and he has a double chin but he is very handsome.  Babies' faces should be fat, and he's not fat elsewhere.  He has gained almost half a kilo since coming home from the hospital; the pediatrician said he's off to a good start!  (He's fairly fixated on eating regularly.)  The extra weight seems to be going to make him taller and not fatter.  He burps well and by that I mean loudly.  His father and grandfathers are proud, I'm sure.  Why do boys like bodily noises?

Jeanne calls James' hair a "cinnamon swirl" and it is swirled very attractively around his head.  His hair is dark, but Juliet's hair was dark when she was born and now she has white-blond hair.  Jeanne also thinks James is losing his hair, and I defer to her judgment, since she studies him every day.  I study him every day too, and every day he seems more and more perfect.  And more and more a miracle.  Rockabye, sweet baby James...

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Another beautiful day in Brittany.  It was sunny this morning so we left around 11 for Primel.  The beach was so warm it felt like early September.  Juliet and I worked on a sand castle although we didn't get very far; every time we had a good start she would say, "No, no.  Let's do it this way..." and we would start all over again.  We had lunch at Au Gouter Breton and finally got the crepes we had longed for yesterday!  Back to Morlaix for naps and a visit from Emilie,Jeanne's friend, and her two daughters.

Jeanne made a wonderful quiche for dinner and we ate a little earlier so we could get Juliet to bed sooner.  Again she didn't protest too much as she was so tired.  Her days have been long; she is struggling to learn her new role as the older child with a baby who's getting a lot of attention.  She has been punished a lot for acting out, and of course it's hard for me to see her upset and sad.  But I realize that she has to mind her mother, especially when it comes to James.  She is too prone to love him so much she practically squeezes the stuffing out of him!  And she can't be disrespectful to her grandparents or parents.

James still has a fussy time at night, usually between 7 and 10.  I remember Matthew had the same thing for a few months after he was born.  It's nothing serious but again diffcult to hear the wee ones cry in pain or discomfort.  Which he seems ready to do right now, so I'm signing off for today.

Road Trip

Jeanne really needed to get out of the apartment and away from the city, so we came to Morlaix on Monday.  We flew from Orly to Brest since they couldn't assure us seats on the train.  It turned out to be a very long trip; we left in a taxi at eleven o'clock and the flight was about a half hour late taking off.  Arriving in Brest we had a car waiting for us, but were given the wrong space number to find it.  After an hour of searching on two different levels of the parking garage, we finally located the car.   The trip to Morlaix took about fifty minutes, and then we stopped for groceries before going to the house.  All of these delays were magnified by a three-year-old who had to be fed, entertained and taken to the bathroom, and a three-week-old who had to be breast-fed, bottle-fed and changed.  And both of whom missed their naps.

Arrival at Morlaix always feels relaxing because Jeanne's parents have made us feel so welcome.  Juliet was immediately in the pool with her Grandpere, I had a cup of tea and James was eating.  Again.  The rest of us had a wonderful late dinner of fish, sauteed potatoes and zucchini, salad, bread and cheese and an apple pie made by Jeanne, with apples from the tree in the yard.

Tuesday was a rainy day in Morlaix, but we went to Primel to meet Laetitia, Lukaz and Romane for lunch and it turned out to be sunny and mild (but windy as usual) there.  We had been looking forward to crepes but all the creperies were closed on Tuesdays!  Jeanne and Jean went to the marche' and bought hachi parmentier and sausage with potatoes as well as a package of crepes for the children.  So we had a delightful lunch followed by a nice walk around Primel with the little girls, Jean, Jeanne and me.  And Sylla, Jean's dog, who the girls were delighted to order around with commands which had to be repeated at least five times before Sylla would sit or stay or go.  Juliet even had Sylla on the leash for a little while, although she weighs less than Sylla so it was a bit difficult for Juliet to hold her ground.  That didn't stop her, though; she's one determined little girl!

When we got back to Morlaix Juliet and I got in the pool while Jean watched James and Jeanne went shopping.  Both Juliet and James were very fussy during the early part of the evening; once again their naps had been cut very short and they were cranky.  For once when bedtime came Juliet didn't put up any objections; she just said "Bonne nuit" and toddled off to bed.  James is still up as I write this at 12:30 A.M. on Wednesday.  I'm waiting to give him his last bottle so Jeanne can sleep a little.  She is worn out!

I'm actually looking forward to our return trip to Paris, by train, on Thursday.  After Monday the train doesn't sound so bad.  Feed the kids and hope they nap the rest of the way home.  Yes, I'm a cockeyed optimist.  One can't travel with small children and infants without being an optimist.

Of Three Year Olds and Three Week Olds

Juliet had a very bad day today.  We all have them but it must be particularly hard for a three-year-old to take.  She wasn't feeling very well when she woke up, and she had swim class this morning.  Even when she doesn't want to go she usually is very excited and happy once she gets there.  Not today.  Matthew said she cried in the pool when her friend wouldn't go on the slide with her, and she was naughty when she was supposed to get dressed to go home.

After a nap that was evidently too brief she had a birthday party this afternoon.  Again she cried when Dad left her there with the other children.  When she got home from the party we took her to the park across the street.  The first thing that happened when we went outside was a full-out sprawl onto the sidewalk.  Luckily she was only scraped a little bit on her arms, and nothing that needed to be bandaged.  At the park I saw how a three-year-old expresses her anger; Juliet would walk away from Matt and me to play by herself.  If she saw us "playing" with her ball or her scooter, she would yell at us to "stop it right now!"  She used all the phrases parents use, like "I told you no!" and "I'm not happy with you!"

Juliet is obviously struggling with her role in this changed family.  She is now the Big Sister and I'm sure she doesn't always want to be that; some times she'd like to be the baby, with all the attention.  After all, she won't be four until January.  She is so verbal that at times it's difficult to remember that she's really still a very small child.

James on the other hand had a great day.  He is a good-natured baby anyway; not too much bothers him unless you don't feed him on time.  Just today he seemed exceptionally sweet, looking all around when his diaper was being changed, cooing softly as he looked at objects nearby, really seeming to study your face while you were holding him.  He fell asleep on my chest tonight for about an hour, and I can still feel the imprint of him, with his little fingers curled around the collar of my sweatshirt and his soft breath on my neck.  He doesn't have to worry about his place in the family, or anything else for that matter.  He is the Baby, and the king of the world.  

Dance Class

One of the wonderful things about Juliet is that she is introducing me to all kinds of new experiences that parents of little girls usually have.  So today I got to go to dance class.  Of course some little boys go to dance class (otherwise where would we get male dancers?) but Matthew didn't, so I'd never experienced dance class before today.  And now that I think about it that's not true because as a little girl I attended dance class.  Which obviously made a big impression on me.

Colleen and I picked the girls up after school today, and when Juliet saw me she ran to me, jumped in  my arms and gave me a great big hug.  This alone made my day!  We then walked to the dance school, and got there early enough for the girls to eat their gouter (afternoon snack) and change their clothes.  All the girls in the class wear some variation of soft dusty rose-colored tights, ballet slippers, tutu and light sweater.  The girls themselves are various shapes and sizes but with the same color clothing they look like a dance troupe, albeit a very tiny, giggly one.

I can't go into the dance studio because the dancers are a dozen or so four- and five-year olds who are intensely self-conscious; so I peek surreptitiously through an open window area and catch some of Juliet's action.  She is very intent and listens to the teacher carefully.  Not surprisingly, being the youngest in the class, she rushes to be next to the teacher whenever they all join hands to form a circle.  With a joyful look she skips around the room; with studious concentration she forms a plie' and imitates the position of the teacher's hands, just so.

It's a forty-five minute class, and really quite a bit of exercise for four-year-olds.  There is a lot of stretching, bending and positioning of feet and arms.  During the last part of the class the girls dance, one at a time, to music.  Juliet is pure concentration and beams at the teacher's praise.  Of course I am picturing her as the prima ballerina at the Opera, whereas she may abandon dance class for the soccer team in a few years.  Whatever Juliet does, she does full tilt; she'll have lots of opportunities for sports, arts, recreation and education of all kinds, and will throw herself into them with abandon, I'm sure.  But then I love her so much I might not be a reliable judge...

Grand Central Station

It's amazing how busy our days seem to be.  Yesterday by late afternoon I hadn't even found time for a shower.  In the morning I walked with Matthew and Juliet to her school, as I'll have to take her later this week.  Not that I really need to know the way; according to Matt, she knows the way and will be glad to show me.  Well then, I should have taken her on my morning walk, as I got lost.

I decided to walk in the morning because it was supposed to rain later in the day.  I didn't need a map because I planned to walk straight in one direction, then straight in another direction perpendicular to the first, and so on until I made a square and ended up where I had started.  Easy!!  Of course the streets don't run perpendicular to one another.  Sometimes they run off at an angle which turns out to be quite a large angle and actually might even take you into another town.  Let's just put it this way:  I saw three other towns before I made it back to Levallois.  And I probably wouldn't have made it back without a friendly school crossing guard who pointed out the way.  Sheesh.

Getting lost and then found took up a lot of the afternoon.  By the time I returned to the apartment it was almost time for us to receive our first guests of the day.  Colleen, the nanny, brought Juliet and her friend to the apartment to play.  Shortly after that Jeanne's friend from work came to meet James, bring gifts, have some tea and chat with Jeanne.  At this point I decided it would be a good time to take a shower; everyone was occupied in other rooms, and the toilet is in a separate room from the bathtub, so no problem there.

I did finish my shower before Jeanne and James arrived to change his diaper (the changing table is in the bathroom).  And I was toweling off when Colleen came in to draw the bath water for the girls.  I even had my robe on by the time Juliet's friend's mother came in to wash her hands before holding the baby.  When Colleen's boyfriend arrived to see the newborn, I gave up and retreated to my room.  I don't have a hair curler anyway, since I brought the one I bought in London last year, and we don't have an adapter for it.  So I might as well let my hair air-dry as it's going to look horrible anyway.  At least I got my shower.

The apartment really did feel like Grand Central Station yesterday.  Guests coming and going from 3:30 until 7:30 or so, then dinner for Juliet, play with Juliet, bed time for Juliet and finally dinner for Matt, Jeanne and me about 10:00.  A long day, but interesting and humbling in a few ways.  I need a map and I need an adapter.  And that's okay.

Sunday in the Park

A beautiful Sunday in October deserves a lazy do what pleases you kind of day.  This is one of the reasons I love France, even though I realize it probably won't last; they take their Sundays off.  Most stores are not open, most restaurants are not open (or open only for dinner), families get together and take walks, or visit friends or have dinner.  We did all of these things today.  I took a long walk along the Seine, toward the suburb of Neuilly, crossing a bridge to the other side and walking back through the Parc de l'Ile de Jatte.

After nap time the whole family walked.  Just across the river from their apartment is a nice little park, with play spaces for small children and a basketball court for the larger ones.  It was quite windy, and Juliet had lots of fun blowing bubbles and chasing after them, but what she really liked was watching the big guys play basketball.  Apparently she watches them every time she goes to the park.  I imagine we'll be visiting it often the next few weeks.

Back to the apartment for a visit with one of Jeanne's friends.  She brought delicious treats (now that's a good guest) plus gifts for James and Juliet (I reiterate...).  After her visit we Skyped with Tom, bathed two kids, ate dinner, put Juliet to bed, did some dishes, checked our emails and the latest news, blogged, made granola and bolognese spaghetti sauce, read books, sorted laundry and went to bed.  All in all a very satisfying, very relaxing, very family-oriented, very French Sunday.

Tomorrow Matthew is back to work and Juliet back to school, leaving Grandma, Jeanne and James to fend for themselves.  It will be wonderful to have some extended time with James, and maybe allow Jeanne some good alone-time for herself.  

Flashback

Tonight I'm having a flashback of sorts:  back to February of 2010 and the one-month-old Juliet.  Here she is again, in the person of her brother James.  He's even starting to look like she did as a newborn.  And he is of course doing all the same things:  eating every three hours, spitting up a little, squinting around at this new world, peeing right after you changed his diaper, etc., etc.

What's different is Juliet.  At three and three quarters, she is her own little person, with a definite view of the world and her place in it.  She is precocious, charming when she wants to be, a whirlwind of activity, and perfectly capable of doing most things by herself, for Heaven's sake!  She is also single-minded, happy to play alone, cruel when she wants to be, and lost in her own world much of the time.  How did she get to be so grown-up??!

Juliet has quite naturally been affected by the birth of her new baby brother.  Who wants a sibling when you've been king of the hill or queen of the castle?  Nobody, that's who.  And Juliet is no exception.  The day Jeanne and James came home from the hospital, Matthew carefully explained to Juliet that Mamma was coming home, and James was coming home, too.  Juliet said, "Well he can't stay here!"  When Matthew explained that indeed, James was going to stay here, Juliet wanted an exact description of how long he was going to stay.  Last night at the dinner table Juliet wanted to know exactly how long Grandma was going to stay, too.

Her world has been turned upside down.  Everyone wants to see the baby, and coo over the baby and talk about how beautiful the baby is.  Meanwhile, Juliet had to spend the night of the baby's birth with a friend and her family, and she was afraid her parents weren't going to pick her up.  Then Grandma moves into the spare room, Daddy goes back to work, this James character doesn't seem to be going anywhere fast, and Momma is tired all the time.  When will life return to normal?

Matthew and Jeanne are very good about spending time with Juliet, talking to her and making her feel grown up and special.  I'm sure her anxiety will lessen as she sees that her place in the family really hasn't changed.  In fact, her place in the family is more important than ever:  she is now the Big Sister.

Mothers and Grandmothers

Lately I've spent a lot of time thinking about the relationships between mothers, grandmothers and grandchildren.  My mother-in-law died about 15 months ago, my mother died in August, and my newest grandchild, James, was born on September 30th.  So whereas I had been feeling like the "sandwich generation" (grandchildren were being born and both our mothers were still alive but needed much more care than in the past), now I realized that the top part of my sandwich was gone.  And then I realized that I was now the top part of my own sandwich.  If that makes any sense.

I never realized how much I would miss Tom's mother and my own, until they were gone.  My mother-in-law died unexpectedly last year.  In cleaning out her closet I discovered that we wore the same size shoes, so I kept several pairs of her shoes.  When I wore her shoes, I thought of Pat.  She was such a wonderful, loving, calm and patient person.  Now every day I strive to be more like her.  Just last week I noticed that her walking shoes I've worn for the last year are finally worn out.  I think those worn out walking shoes will become my garden shoes, so I can continue to be reminded of her and her wonderful outlook on life.

By the time my mother died I had helped her sort through her things a few times.  Stuff had gone to Goodwill, been thrown away and given away and stored away.  I've kept a few small pieces of costume jewelry, and always think of her when I wear them.  The real legacy I have from her final illness time, is becoming closer to my brother and sister.  And of course she shaped my whole life:  she was Scout leader, cheered me on in the kitchen, made my prom dresses, was room mother, sent me to college, planned my wedding and babysat with her first grandchild, my son, Matt.

With all four of our parents dead, Tom and I are now the patriarch and matriarch of our families, both being the oldest children.  Boy, if you think "Grandma" makes someone sound old, try "Matriarch".  But I'm not complaining; it's better to be the oldest than not to be here at all.  Especially when you have the honor of meeting your grandson, James, for the first time.

It's so true that you forget how tiny newborn babies are!  When I heard James weighed in at seven and a half pounds, I thought, "Well, he'll be a big baby..."  Well of course not, he's a tiny little guy who sleeps with both his hands up in the air, like babies do.  He gets very angry when you're changing his diaper, and would like to pee on you or on his own clothes while he's getting changed, and very often does.  He gets the hiccups and they occasionally just rattle his whole little body.  But in general he eats well and seems to digest well.

He likes listening to his grandmother sing (or maybe he's just amazed at the temerity of someone with an average voice warbling away), and he stares at her and gets very quiet and seems really to listen.  This is an excellent quality in a French child, because French families all know lots of songs and sing them together as families whenever they can possibly work them in.  Once, Jeanne's family asked us what songs families in the U.S. would sing together; after explaining that Christmas songs were about the only ones traditionally sung by families, we got some very sympathetic and pitying looks.  Tom and I have since learned snippets of traditional French songs so when we're hiking or gathered around the dinner table and the singing breaks out, we cheerfully mouth a few words and smile through the rest.

I'm going to enjoy getting to know James.  I can't wait to hear what Juliet has to say about him.  She is growing up so fast that it's kind of nice to have a little baby around again.