Juliet has been acting strangely around me. I thought she was just teasing me by sticking out her tongue at me, running away when I would try to hug her, and pushing me away when I tried to interact with her in any way. I thought we were teasing each other but it turns out she was serious in the way only a four-year-old can be. Tonight as she was giving me a hard time, she whipped the Elsa hat off her head and hit me with the braid; her mother saw this, reprimanded her and took her upstairs. A little while later they came downstairs, and Juliet, with tears in her eyes, apologized and said she loved me. Jeanne explained that all the attention I have been giving to James had Juliet thinking that I didn't love her any more. It was all I could do not to cry myself as I hugged Juliet and told her that I loved her and I would always love her.
You forget how fragile four-year-old hearts are, and how instantly they can be devastated by the slight of a friend, discipline of a parent or harsh word from a teacher. One minute she is smiling as she leaps across the room in pirouettes, and the next she has collapsed in tears, sobbing as if her heart would break. And James, at 1, is the same of course. He has a smile that lights up the room, and a piercing shriek and voluminous wail when things aren't going his way.
I will be more conscientious about reassuring Juliet of my love, giving her my attention and some praise, and spending some precious alone time with her. I will keep explaining to Juliet that paying attention to James doesn't mean I love him more; it means he is littler and needs more help and supervision. I never worry about James getting enough attention; he sees to that, as he's constantly running full tilt at life, caution to the wind, with a smile or a shriek. I love them both so fiercely that I would clone myself if I could, and spend all my time with each of them.
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